36: Marriage Stories
Kathleen Norris on MARRIAGE STORIES
The human institution of marriage is irresistible to filmmakers. I suspect it’s easier to portray a troubled marriage than one in which two people are ideally suited to one another, and many films on the subject are grim. But in some of the best we witness a spouse struggling to learn what it means to be fully committed to another person. In one stunning recent film, Noah Baumbach’s Marriage Story, (2019) we witness two people finally coming to understand how to love each other and do what’s best for their young son. Sadly, it’s too late to save their marriage.
The subtlety of Marriage Story surprised me as I’d written Baumbach off as a chronicler of hopelessly dysfunctional relationships. The Squid and the Whale (2005) depicts a family dominated by a father, an arrogant and condescending literature professor embittered by his failure to succeed as a novelist. His wife’s newfound success as a writer enrages him further, and after their cruel exchanges escalate and traumatize their two teenaged sons, the couple separates. Jeff Daniels and Laura Linney portray the pair brilliantly, and make us understand the damage two self-absorbed people bent on besting one another can inflict on their children. Not a happy story, but a revelatory one.
The Anniversary Party (2001, above) features a privileged Hollywood couple, Sally and Joe, who have recently reunited after a separation and are celebrating their sixth anniversary. A yoga instructor comes to their home to help the couple relax before the big party, but nothing can mask Sally’s insecurity, as she plaintively asks her husband, “We’re OK, aren’t we? You’re really, really back? For good?”
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